i raised
i leave words by the way
hell is heaven for those of us like
pretend to understand at least
give me some meters
if another sad day drove me to this

i wonder what i should tell my friends and neighbors
i went back today
kept a sidelong glance from revealing
the worst part of me
effortless pretense as societal norms

for reasons i left behind
my advancing age
another daytime effort
time slips past holidays

left for reasons to live
burn off
vocabulary
if my audience understands
i find that hard to believe
i'll leave it here.