i waited to push this out, i wondered more and more about

could not decide, could not find better

you can give me more, i swear it's inside

listen words repeated again is it meaning

full hands flow over water.

if another day passes in this house

my house of other 

i see futures. 

perhaps less can be the same

dread the look and stare

i have avoided eyes of those i love most

forced contact with some i fear and loathe

traded words, not connected

i fear the permanence i've afforded reveals my double standard.

i fear i am not what i declare myself to be

forever linked in minds with the betrayer of self.

as open as i can be still leaves me wanting.