Oh, to be a member of that grand party; an invited guest at the
least, how I would beam in splendor. To be carried about on the
shoulders of the wicked and the cursed, bathed in the shining light of
the true God, where none other than the almighty himself would presume
to pass judgment. The freedom that such a status would allow, the
heights of depravity that could go unpunished in the mortal world, seem
unattainable.
I can only dream.
I can act towards acceptance, I can show myself worthy, and I
can let no person stand in my way. Only my own worries sully my
supplication, my own trepidations keep my mind clouded. I cannot judge
myself; I can only believe my actions pure, my thoughts focused, and my
heart full with righteous energy. When faced with difficult decisions,
I must not impose morals, ethics, beliefs, or laws to the outcome. I
must rid myself of such fetters, I must remove the remaining barriers to
clear thought, and I must not stop until all of you are dead.
Do not think I only rant and rave; do not think I am not honest
or capable. Make not the mistake of believing you can turn me, find the
good in me, for I am the essence of good, I am pure beyond measure, I am
the hand of god, and I will not be judged by the masses, the mortals,
the sheep who impose their doctrine in the name of our father. If I
must purge this realm of such men to prove my worth, I will do so with
fervor.
Perhaps, if I act purely, I will gain acceptance, and I too will
sup with the master of time, the father of all worlds, the King of all
living and dead, the all-knowing grand emperor of being. Perhaps it is
I who will stand before him, face his judgment, and be taken into him.
Oh, the thought of it makes my body numb, my mind dance, my heart
bloody. It must start now, it must begin now, I must rid my mind of
thoughts that anchor it to the perversity of law and order.
Prepare yourselves for death, for I shall not tarry.