Pretend placement
After the show
We go from blow to blow
Interrupting fights
With individual plights
Look out for yourself
This world cares not
For your supposed insights
Walk away from
Dark sided alley lurking fiends
Preying on weak minds
Let emotion run amok
Flagging lettered men
Driving blind luck
Let not rest take hold
Vigilance remains
Against evil
And all it stains.

old news

things seem to be slowly moving along here these days...

Kramer brought in a rabbit he hunted down.

I made brownies.

Preparations for the apocalypse continue at an exceptionally slow pace.

I have moved on
better things
crisis of stasis
let this
recorded matter
be one better
one line
matters more
belated attempts sit behind me
zeal is less than
unknown
such difficulty
once heralded
welcomed
embraced
now banished
these strikes against me
summon fearless anger
go out and do
forget what ails
strike faster
with intense fury
manifest emotion
in this way
bleed off
let no person avail you.

More than once I’ve been here; more times than some imagine might be possible, sitting in a dark corner, twirling empty bottles, staring. Please, some thought come, some reason to act. I need to act, repeated in my head over dreams of repetition. I look out into smoky darkness willing myself to care about something enough. Across a room, movement catches my eye, a conversation intense enough to draw me into the motion of it; swinging arms, bobbing heads, crossing legs. It’s the fantasy, I see. The dreaming drives us. To achieve something only removes the pleasure; getting what we want is not what we want.

Don’t let this fool you, trick you, make you think I have a plan. I’ve sat here so many times before, so many times before. I’ve wondered at it over and over again; I’ve wondered at it. I’ve looked so many times into the shallow depths, considered oh so few possibilities, until I hit on this one. Before you resides, in some form or other, the work you now so tokenly peruse at your leisure’s leisure. Your problem, you see, is that you think this has value, you think I have something to say, and now you know I’m like every other. If I say I have nothing to say, them surely I must have something to say, and if I admit in truly have nothing, then perhaps there is something. And by some miracle, maybe that something is truly worth saying, truly worth repeating, truly inspiring, insightful, thoughtful, moving, passionate, creative, worthy, perceptive, discerning, aware, and possibly even fruitful. I can always hope, and always hope for the future. I see someone sometime unearthing this ancient text, looking towards the sun for an idea to its meaning. Believe me when I tell you, I can do this, I can never do this, I can’t do this, I can’t never do this, I believe I can do this.

Maybe some concerned citizen will see this as dangerous.

09.21.06

leave me alone
leave this altogether
bring back
whatever looks
nicely done within the confines
of the task
laid before you
look back
wonder
where did things go right
when did I become this
he who stands before himself
blurring the distinction
man and what
who are we you might ask
a shake of the head
do not
look so sad laden with unseen
emotions laid out
for the coming day
ordered for maximization
break off the bead
fling strings across rooms
bring it back
to this
leave me not alone.

is there anybody in here?
i've been waiting for over a month now. 5 weeks and 3 days to be exact.
let me out.
i can't take it anymore.
the need for speed, access, information....
ceaseless
never do that again.
really, i couldn't be more adamant in this.
leave me isolated that long again and bad things will happen.

oh for fucks sake
time passes faster than i can
begin to think about
a manner worth relating
think on this sir
place several jarring details
for all to see
let suckers be suckers
dispense with any and all
pleasantries before entering my house
i could lay some laws down
if it would make you feel better
i think leaving that out would
what
be better i suppose
flow cascading ritual words
upon page screen board
lecture me more.

things have not changed
the center will hold
nothing unknown will be loosed upon this world
do not think innocence is lost
at best, the worst stumble beneath us
no revelation is at hand
excepting that one i trust
darkness held at bay with words
rough beast among us? only these lines.

dreadful things
full circle around
places been
leave
step out from here
leave out reasons
can trust be
thought once strong
imagined support left
crumbled
crying for
please leave for greener
post applied for
belated wishes upon winds
changed places
beggars about pieces
cleft into
I often wonder on this
look into respected eyes
left unsaid
too late for last minute goodbyes
blanket this world with your gaze
push this boundary beyond
place this where all can see
wonder at
this once
well thought
resounding yes
lacks faith
lacking faithless
last full plates
take all you
can hoard
gorge
into knowing
nothing.

I've decided to write everyday until something happens. I can't tell you what that is yet, but perhaps the goal, long term, is sufficiency; to provide any monetary sum for this life by writing would be good. I'm willing to concede that, as I don't consider myself good enough to write for art's sake. So, I will continue this until I produce an economically viable product.
Let me cry at night knowing I am ought but a sellout, a lying no-good deceiver.
Read: sarcasm.
I like $.

Attention staff:

Please forward all concerns through the proper channels, ensuring they will never concern me. Active participation in the facilitation of a positive work environment is aggressively discouraged. Notification of management in the case of beleaguerment, depression, fatigue, truancy, improper training, or general malfeasance will be met with disinterest, annoyance, or anger. Please consider only yourself in all actions. Customers are not to be trusted, engaged, notified, alerted, helped, served, or talked to, except in dire circumstances, or under duress. There is to be absolutely no talking, touching, laughing, singing, dancing, horseplay, shenanigans, tomfoolery, bumfuckery, asscrackery, poopshackery, blazing up, throwing back, belching, vomiting, moving, calling, or talking, touching and laughing while at work. Under no circumstances should the management be troubled with any of the following: broken down vehicles, annoyed customers, equipment on the fritz, complaints, bathroom breaks, phone calls, nametags, emergencies, time off requests, boyfriends, girlfriends, pets, families, or anything else.

Thank you for your continued efforts in making this the best workplace it can be.

The management.

interesting...

ladybird unition is playing a show on december 29...
i'm listening to upswing right now, and it's a damn good song... damn good.

i have several things to mention here...
-what the heck?
-please, stop bringing cell phones to movies.
-again with the tuna?
-pass the mayo.
-look to windward
-read a book
-leave me alone.

-Rob
"fear is the mind-killer"

look out onto this pathway trodden
I’ve passed this way countless time before
I consider myself
myself not well traveled I consider myself
arrange yourself in a certain way
arms over head
reach for this that I hold for you
create emotions
searching for you
I looked out
this path I’ve traveled
I’ve placed my foot so often here
gather my friends
not too near
bless this piece
this land
dear
lover finds you
I can’t imagine a place I won’t find you
I can’t imagine a place inside
do not try
take this worried sullen face
keep it close
don’t live in fear
look out onto this pathway trodden
so many times before
consider yourself
well traveled
steps remembered well
I can’t imagine this place without you
my curse forgets you
my curse forgets true
this frequented valley of laughter clear
I wish this end for me
I place my own
figured factors unravel
I can’t arrange this perfectly
bless this
find you.

not so assured
self-centered
careless feelings
some work so hard
I among them
wrong
treaded path
forget what I tell you
bring what
to each game
catch words
said in what
attempted privacy
keep out
away from me
consider this I say
look to me
with confidence I tell you
this is not for us
this is not for them
do not lie
hold back
a smile
kill it inside
please with each finger bent
each digit placed
perfectly
align my fingers
in so many ways
so little
say this place
broken tossed shaken
please don’t let me turn
turn into me.

One life lived in perfect harmony with its surroundings; one person in accordance with their environment. A perfectly reasonable goal thwarted at every turn by internal upheaval.

Oh, were it so, I exclaim. To lay all problems upon the table for all to see, and in doing so, absolve oneself of blame.

Consider this instead, I say. Keep all problems at your own peril. Only then will one be forced to confront, contain, and overcome. Work things through as you go.

Attention all: no longer shall I burden you with what ails me! No longer shall I proclaim bold stances, shout ill thought solutions, or type wary claims of clarity for all to see...

No… from now on, I will fill these pages with the fiction of my life, not the bare, hard, sad truth. Look to me no longer for soulful reflections, thoughtful dissertations, or peculiar confessions. The man known as Rob will no longer be an open book; nay, fine reader. “Closed indefinitely,” says the sign o’er my heart, for I’ve locked the door, with the key safely inside. I now declare myself repressed, and better for it.

“Hello, my name is Rob, and I masturbate… and this is the hand that I masturbate with.”

-Rob

road trip Rob

leave me alone
leave this altogether
bring back
whatever looks
nicely done within the confines
of the task
laid before you
look back
wonder
where did things go right
when did I become this
he who stands before himself
blurring the distinction
man and what
who are we you might ask
a shake of the head
do not
look so sad laden with unseen
emotions laid out
for the coming day
ordered for maximization
break off the bead
fling strings across rooms
bring it back
to this
leave me not alone.