sad emotional

average devotional

admission of guilt with no capitals 

required reading where

minds come to

dive into muddy waters

concerns in circles without diameters

listen 

i know this wasn't what you expected

i don't have skills 

or pay bills 

i've been rejected

create a space

crashed in place without leaving the couch

in smaller times i washed my hands

of this tightening 

bands of mothers in celebration

i watch the flock and wonder 

why incarceration comes with food and reading

retirement plans in white collar crimes

no bleeding

or basement rooms with doctors or stars in films

i don't need much

a mattress and lunch and dragons

in dungeons with crazy mages

i've gone on enough 

this time

perhaps tomorrow won't be so rough.

this place holds time
even for me
the ambiguity makes understanding elusive
another 12 years
of meaningless words
where will that take us?
little confessional, yet repeated year to year
this is not what it was meant to be
or this is exactly what it needed
i consider myself the benchmark for mediocrity.

hand me down
released and found
another scattered day
around
less talked about
calling on depths
foregrounded keys
thought more of
replied
when do I
ten years
along this road
one day
at the end
i'll still be retreading
retyping
reading back among
more forgotten now
than ever before
another slip
i've ridden and
admitted and confessed
i say
bored scared unsure
this is what i will be
another day in years.