blood and soil
earthen toned
down repair
consider a path taken
worked and clenched
moist man
smell
odor of earth
ejaculation bringing
release
comfort
sorrow
question not this
instance friendship fades
take not away
these deep lines
lay back and consider
some patterned success story
not this
grasp for nothing
in this
slips through
hours
more control
long curling lengths
give not a memory
cut this leave nothing
becomes less
as still this day.

03.23.06

underhanded
compiled
resented
complicated
grounded
judge a book
grasping at straws
adequate depiction
events left
find an end to this
write an end
bring this down
to a level
left unsaid
spoken
rehearsed
practiced
until perfect
rolling of fingertips
the sweet resolution of it all
look back upon
a meandering swath
cut against a wall
complicate things
imagine things
wonder about this
in particular
keep me at bay
after
sense me
across time space
always wonder.

I've never quite figured this out, as i've said before. I find it difficult to dedicate the time required. I find it difficult. It's easy to say it, easy to think about it, easy to decide in some instant to change it. Doing it is a pain in the ass... not like some people who sit and churn out pages upon pages on a whim... people who like it...

Maybe I like the idea of it?

Maybe I like the thought of it?
The romance of it...
probably the closest i've come to figuring it out.

why the fear?
fear is the mind-killer i proclaim where i can... why not make this available?
i don't know...

maybe it's time to change that...

tried and failed
tried and died

come concern
some unkown
worry about less
than worried about
chasm of space
multiplies falling towards
nothing
imagine the discovery
of nothing
the confirmation
of nothing
the abyss doesn't stare back
focus on something far away
focus on me
remember me
look to me
ask me
wonder about me
realize
nothing
the mystery we so desire
empty
without meaning
try to bare your soul
it's right here
there's nothing more
don't be afraid to smile
laugh
screw them
and leave nothing.